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As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop’s security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared:“ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco”These are compliments of Uncle P. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.A rabbit runs and hops and. New curtains went up and three tasteful paintings graced the wall, covering most of the blemishes.Carole supervised the unloading, placement and assembly of each item as it was brought in, apparently according to a pre-arranged plan. The flawless precision of the operation would have done the planners of Desert Storm proud. Carole obviously had a future in logistics.As the work progressed, I had a chance to study Carole. Either she had lost a lot of weight in the last two weeks, or my assessment of her as stocky was a little severe. Let's just say she was solidly built and her sports bra kept her healthy chest well under control. There wasn't an ounce of fat, though, that I could see. She saw me looking at her and quickly looked away. She wrote furiously on a piece of paper and handed it to me.I knew what it would say before I opened it. "I have a boyfriend," it read.I grabbed a pencil from my backpack and scribbled a one word answer.When she read my response, I thought she was going.
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